I'm hoping my daughter and I have a more open relationship when it comes to sex. We have talked at great links and She promises me that she will come to me before hand. However, I think I would find pics of the most horrible STDs out there and show them to her...and then beg a pregnant lady to let my child be in the delivery room so she can see first hand what exactly happens.
I have had the sex talk with son already. I have told him that I will not condone him having sex at such a young age. But if he feels he needs to have sex anyways. To come to my husband or myself to get condoms. That I would rather him be save and protected. Than get some disease or become a father to early.
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I am hoping it never comes down to this, however, it is 2007. Children are going to have sex regardless of the warnings. I am hoping that my child feels like he/she could talk to me about this matter. I would rather educate them on STD's, AIDS, and being a young parent than tell them that they will not have sex. I was a young parent myself, so I know first hand how hard and life changing this is.
First I would be very hurt and disappointed in my child, whether a boy or girl. Even as young as my girls are we have talked about sex waiting till marriage. We have not just discussed it as our preference but God's too. I wouldn't do anything that would push my girls away. We would talk about what they are doing, why they are doing it (because it can be a pressured thing) and why we feel it is wrong. From there I'm not sure. There again my parents hate my boyfriend and though sex was the farthest thing from my mind I was threatened with it, if I ever did and that hurt. I'd have to and hard and wait for gui. I would also seek out a mentor to talk with.
I've gone through this already when my soon to be 19 year old son was 14 and his girlfriend was 13!!!!! They came to both me and her mom. Needless to say, I just about fainted. We both explained diseases and pregnancy and our concerns for how young they were. It ed for awhile but, I found out a few months later that they had gone through with it. Her mother ended up putting her on the pill. Both kids will have birthdays next month. He will be 19 and she will be 18. They broke up a month ago after 5 years of being a "couple". We can talk to our kids until we are blue in the face but, they ultimately make their choice. They don't always want to listen to us because as teenagers, they think they know everything. They try so hard to rush into being adults when they are still children.
Now that my son is an adult, I can't get him to do anything "adult"!!! LOL
I have to admit, I almost had a heart attack reading this "what if" question. I have a 14 year old daughter. My first instinct, I would "kill" her. OY....I am NOT ready for her to be having sex. Maybe when she is 50?
Anyway, I am VERY open with my kids about sex. We have always been because I wanted them to see it as something natural that God intended to happen between a husband and wife. BUT I also told them that IF you decide to have sex with your boyfriend (she does not have a boyfriend) to talk to me first and I would her make sure she would be okay. BUT, I will encourage her not to.
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To know, firsthand, that nothing good ever comes of a cowardly act is to find the courage to say --- and to do --- what needs to be done in the moment, in spite of one's imagined fears about the outcome. ---Guy Finley
Well-after I took a time out for ME to calm down...my son and I would sit down and talk about it-ALL of it! And we would face it-calmly and rationally.
I don't have a 14 year old son our daughter yet but I do have a 14 year old sister that is pregnant and what I told her was plenty. I told her was that at this day and age, with all the information available to her, there is no reason to become pregnant if you don't want to. There are sex education classes in school. Sex is all kids talk about in and out of school. There are condoms available to her almost everywhere. Almost every public restroom has a machine where condoms can be purchase at. If that is not enough, she has five older sisters with kids, not to mention cousins within walking distance that she could have turned to if she wanted to for some type of birth control. I don't think she should be having sex at such young age and without being married first but I understand the pressure she is under to have sex, but do it safely. If my kid was having sex at that age, my main concern would have been to protect her or him against an unwanted pregnacy and from all the diseases that are out there.
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Imagine my surprise and anger when I went to wake my 14 year old daughter up for school and found a boy in her bed
I called his Mother and she gave him a talking to and my daughter got one too! She was also grounded, her window was nailed shut . Maybe that was a little extreme, but she thought she knew it all.
I'm not sure how to stop them from having sex so young. All we can do is tell them everything and hope they listen. Everything moves faster and they think they are grown up at 12 now.
If you found out that your 14 year old was having in sex
First, if I found that my child was having sex at 14 I would make an appointment with a physician and make sure that my child knew the downs of having sex that early. Second, I would ensure that we started an open dialog about the reasons why it shouldn't continue. Regardless of the sex of my child, I would ensure that they knew all methods of birthcontrol. I seriously doubt that I would get a daughter birthcontrol pills, because I would be against giving her an okay attitude, but I would get her condoms to carry with her, and hope that she is smart enough to use them. Beginning an open dialog is utmost important, more important than reacting negative, even though that's exactly where I would probably be. I would also make sure that my child knew that I was available at all times and ensure them that I would always be there for them. Lastly, I would pay a visit to their school and find out exactly what and how they are being taught, and leak to the health teacher that the children are considering having sex or currently engaging in sexual activities and ask them to change and add methods that they are currently engaging the students in to open dialog there too.
I hope this is not a situation I ever have to handle. I want my sons to wait for their spouse to have sex. It's so hard in this day and age when kids of all ages are bombared with sensual ads, commercials, magazine pages, etc. How can they not be aware of sex and its power even at a young age? Not to mention the clothes that are popular. Hopefully by talking about it and keeping the communications lines open as much as possible we can them to see it is almost always a hurtful situation if you have sex when you are dating and then break up and move on to the next one where the cycle starts over. Multiple partners makes for a lot of excess baggage on your wedding night.
I have two boys, one 14 and one 15. I "think" the 15 year old is seriously thinking of having sex ... he's been telling that he's already had sex but I'm not certain about that. We've gone over and over and over the subject ... reminded them of all the bads that can happen. My gut desire would be to lock them in their rooms if I ever found out they did but nothing good would come from that. I do admit they would be grounded because it is a direct disobedience of a firm family rule and belief ... but in all honesty ... we know that would do little good either. Several moms have already made the statement that teens believe they know all they need to know and they are going to do what they choose to do regardless of what we have taught them, what we want them to do and no matter what types of punishments we can or will give them.
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Mechele
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"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9)
"Advice for the day: If you have alot of tension and you get a , do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children" " Author Unknown
Wow what a loaded and scarey question to think about. I am not sure exactly what I would do. My youngest dd is 15. I know she knows all about it and has who are doing it. We talk about it often and she is not in too many situations where she would have an opportunity to have sex. That is something that I have tried to be vigilant about, not giving her the opportunity to have sex at such a young age, although I recently found out that 2 kids were caught actually having sex at the high school in the wrestling room!! Sooo that said, well honestly she would be grounded for a very long time because my trust in her would be broken, another issue we have discussed at length, the consequences of breaking our trust. I have told her about our beliefs that it not acceptible to have sex before marriage and that it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse when you get married, but, I am not stupid, I know that chances are that she will have sex before marriage. I am hoping that with these talks it will her put off the experience for a long time, until she is hopefully old enough to make wise decisions. Wow, now I feel the need to have a good long talk with her again. Won't she like that??
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wwee 14 is too young. I am glad we never faced that. Our daughter was 18 when she started having sex and she came to me first (she still lived at home with us) and I talked with her and took her into our family doctor and got her on birth control...so she waited until about 3 months and then I am guessing she finally did it. We had a very open relationship so I am glad she came to me.
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and 
. I would also seek out a mentor to talk with.
ed for awhile but, I found out a few months later that they had gone through with it. Her mother ended up putting her on the pill. Both kids will have birthdays next month. He will be 19 and she will be 18. They broke up a month ago after 5 years of being a "couple". We can talk to our kids until we are blue in the face but, they ultimately make their choice. They don't always want to listen to us because as teenagers, they think they know everything. They try so hard to rush into being adults when they are still children.
What would I do if my 14 year old was having sex?
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Sex at 14
that he's already had sex but I'm not certain about that. We've gone over and over and over the subject ... reminded them of all the bads that can happen. My gut desire would be to lock them in their rooms if I ever found out they did but nothing good would come from that. I do admit they would be grounded because it is a direct disobedience of a firm family rule and belief ... but in all honesty ... we know that would do little good either. Several moms have already made the statement that teens believe they know all they need to know and they are going to do what they choose to do regardless of what we have taught them, what we want them to do and no matter what types of punishments we can or will give them.
, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children" " Author Unknown
wwee 14 is too young. I am glad we never faced that. Our daughter was 18 when she started having sex and she came to me first (she still lived at home with us) and I talked with her and took her into our family doctor and got her on birth control...so she waited until about 3 months and then I am guessing she finally did it. We had a very open relationship so I am glad she came to me.
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