hendjam

In the other post, I mentioned the problems with Mike. Well, our other son, Bobby (just turned 15) is also having problems.

There were some behavior problems with him as a young child (5-6), but those had substained. Now we're having other problems with him. (went to same school as Mike did)

Up to grade 7th, Bobby did fairly well in school. Didn't make the honor roll, but his grades were decent. His atten record was also fairly good. In fact, in the first quarter of his 8th grade (last year), he made thehonorable mention honor roll! Only one "C" kept him from getting on the honor roll.

Then things went DOWN HILL - and kept going! He started missing school A LOT! It was usually "tummy aches" or something like that. But there WAS one time that I did keep both boys out when they weren't ill (the ONLY time I have (not counting the times THEY said "they're " only to "feel better" as soon as school is over)). I doubt either boy would have done much that day if they had gone. You see, we had just gotten home from the hospital at 5 AM. Their father (my husband) was taken there with a bad asthma attack. I really didn't think they'd be able to GET UP at 6:30 am, let alone function at school. To add to this - the DAY he was released from the hospital I learned I no longer had a job (there are some "fishy" things about that too). This was shortly before Bobby's "roll down the hill", too. He did graduate from 8th grade, but not without having to go to summer school to make up for 3 failed cl***es. (did ALL in 3 weeks. That's SOME achievement. This tells me he CAN do the work!!).

In High school this year, well in 54 days, he missed 21. Many of these missed days were because he was "too tired" or the "tumy ache". He's in an alternative high school now, which isn't going that well. He starts at 12:30 PM to 5:30 PM, Mon-Thurs. In the four weeks he's been at that school, he's gone six times (one of the six was his going to the session as well as the afternoon to make up for days missed)

He s A LOT! He claims he "can't at night", but we have HEARD him (snoring). There's been days where we just CAN'T wake him. Bob (husband) took this week off to me "get this school thing back the way it should be" (with Mike, it more or less is. At least he GETS there!). But Bobby didn't make it for three of the four days. (Bob works 6 to 1 pm Mon-Sat, so it's up to ME to get the boys off to school. Both are TOO BIG for me to phyiscally make them go. And my health just won't take it.)

I'm worried about him! We have an appointment for him to be evaluated tomorrow - but I still worry.

Victorious

I don't have any advice but I want to give ya a BIG hug! I'm I didn't see this sooner!

How did the appointment go?? If you need anything let us know!

__________________
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
--Unknown
<><AMY><>

frazzledmomof2

hendjam:

big hug! I can only imagine how you feel! I have 2 younger children that I have to with to get up as well.

My 4 1/2 yr old is PDD/ODD and is the late owl around here. Even one med doesnt work anymore! Have you had him evaluated by a psychiatrist that deals w/ disabilities or does he already have them?

Sorry I missed to post earlier!

Let me know if you would like to chat at all.

hendjam

Evaluation went okay. He now has a pill to "make him ", one to "wake him up" and a depression pill. I wasn't there at the evaluation (waiting for Mike to come home). I asked hubby how was Bobby supposed to take the "wake up pill when he's a". Bob (hubby) said it was AFTER he woke up. One day (weekend) I couldn't get Bobby up (Bob was at work). He griped at me, saying "but he has the wake up pill" (as if I COULD give it to him while he slept!). Grrr.

We're trying to schedule a counseling appointment for ALL FOUR of us, but with our schedules (when Bobby's home, Mike's at school (and Bob at work), when Mike's home (or could be as regular school is over (he goes to "Skills" afterwards)), Bobby's at school. except for Fridays).

I'm kind of worried about that meeting. In the past, the focus has always turned to me and what I'm "doing wrong". Sometimes it has to do with MY "yelling at them" (but it's "ok" for them to yell at me and call me some really not nice words - that I couldn't type here even if I wanted to due to the filters) or that I "hog" the computer (they're even "" that I'm using it when they're at school!!!. What difference does that make? Well, if I get "used to" using it during those times, then, when they are home for some reason (even when home and the house rules say "NO computer"), then they wouldn't be able to use it. Yes, the computer has caused a LOT of problems for us (my Christmas list includes to have two more computers (withtwo more phone lines) so that we ALL could be on the computer at the same time). But. contrary to what they think, I don't think my staying off the computer completely (as the boys want me to do!) would resolve the problem! And frankly, I don't think I SHOULD have to, nor to limit MY time on it (either how long I'm on it or when I go on). The boys just "don't get it" that the computers are NOT theirs!!! Nor do they "get it" that WE (not just Bob) are in charge and that what I say has EQUAL value to what Bob says (if I say they can't go on, they CAN'T GO ON! They don't "need" to ask Bob about it. Yes, he supports me, to a degree. He wants everything "all nice and happy" which means he WILL "over rule" my consequence rather than to "put up with" all the agruements about it. I don't feel it's "unreasonable", "unfair" or "mean" to take my son of the computer because he fussed and fumed in getting ready for school or that he missed the bus because of it. I also don't feel that he SHOULD be able to go on it, JUST because he DID go to school. I didn't take him off of EVERYTHING!!!)

I'll admit that maybe I don't always handle the situations well. But it's often after dealing it for awhile, MUCH farther than it should have gone. If I say "you're to get off the computer at 8 pm", then the BOY should be off at 8 pm. Not "I'm in the middle of something" or "just a minute" for the next hour, or two hours. This is ESPECIALLY when I have said that I needed to go on by a certain time (one time, I HAD to get the payment in by 5 pm or I'd be charged a "late fee" (it was due the day after payday. I thought I could get on SOME TIME that day and pay it. Nope. That entire day it was "I'm in the middle of something" or something like that. One got off and because I wasn't in the same room with them at that very second, the other one decided "oh, I can go on"). I couldn't spend ten minutes tops to do one "little" thing? It's often after dealing with it for SOME time before I "loose my ". But to hear them talk about me in sessions, it's "she "loses it" at the first time of asking".