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** Actual Headlines **
~ March Planned For Next August
~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See
~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -- Thief Gives Police The Slip
~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
~ Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
~ Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
~ Diaper Market Bottoms Out
~ Croupiers On Strike; Management Says: "No Big Deal"
~ Stadium Air Conditioning Fails -- Fans Protest
~ Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
~ Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
~ Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
~ Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
~ Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
~ Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
~ Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
~ Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
~ Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
~ 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
~ War Dims Hope For Peace
~ If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
~ Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
~ Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
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Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow!
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