I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting
goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required
to make store-wide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware
who needs assistance at the paint counter."
One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom
system with the following message: "I have a customer by the
balls in the toy department who needs assistance."
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Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow!