1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter? = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash? =1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement?
= bananosecond
5. Weight an ev
ist carries with God? =1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour?
= Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone?= 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine? = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches? = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis? = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes? = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers? = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones? = 1 megaphone
14. 1 million bicycles?= 2 megacycles..
15. 365.25 days? = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds? = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 10 cards? = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs?= 1 Fig Newton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks?= 1 literhosen..
20. 1 millionth of a fish? = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins? = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations? = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations? = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms? = 1 !diagram
25. 8 nickels?= 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital?= 1 I.V. League
27. 100 Senators? = Not 1 decision
?
How sweet of you to ask. That's what jokes are for -- to p*** along and make someone else smile 
Feel free to share a smile.
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