Any suggestions for a child who is behind ...

GraspingGrace · 08-04-2004, 08:15 PM

Okay, here's the deal. My foster son does attend public school but during the summer I conduct summer homeschooling. My summer homeschooling

ed our son quite a bit so naturally, when we had a young boy join our home through the foster care system I was all ready to begin the summer homeschooling. Well, I'm in the middle of it and am quite disheartened. He was held back in the first grade, passed first grade the second time around. He went on to second, third and just completed fourth; however, his teacher informed me (we received this boy in May so it was right before the end of the school year) that he really should be held back and repeat the fourth grade but since he's already been held back once in the elementary level it is illegal for the school to hold him back again -- UGH. I advised her that I would work diligently with him during the summer. He has since been transferred to our local school where my son attends. Anyway, he is severely lacking the basics!!! I currently have him working out of a 1st - 3rd grade PHONICS book and believe it or not ... he's struggling. He has no concept of the sounds of words which causes his spelling to be atrocious. His speech is awful too which I'm sure accounts for some of his spelling difficulties. For instance, he tried to spell successful like this SUCKSEXFUL and the ever common AX for ask there are many others but I digress. He also look totally clueless when I gave him a lesson on contractions like I will becomes I'll. He could not understand that can no becomes can't.

Anyway ... I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how I can

an almost 12 year old boy with 1st grade basic concepts. He's very depressed over going into the 5th grade and seeing himself working on 1st grade material. I'm very worried that he's just going to be so very lost in the 5th grade and if I can't get him a bit further with his education he will struggle for the rest of his educational career -- and college will be out of the question ...

HELP PLEASE!!!

08-04-2004, 08:44 PM

Oh, I see you have a lot of work. I think you are an increadiable woman for taking this boy under your wings and working this hard with him. Most people would not even care.
I only have a 2 year old so I am clueless. I would just say get some workbooks from the "School Box" or teacher stores and just work several hours a day with him. He will get there... I am so glad to hear you are willing to do this for him. You are right, if he does not get this

he will always struggle. I wish you the best of luck.
When does school start for him?

GraspingGrace · 08-04-2004, 10:04 PM

Thanks Marilyn ... I appreciate your kind words. I just feel that we've taken him into our home and when he came here we told him that he would be treated as if he were our own!! Every child deserves the best that I can possibly give him/her ... I just feel so

less at this point though ... I guess it's because I'm so overwhelmed. My husband actually has a Masters in English Education but he's trained for high school level and doesn't have a clue how to deal with elementary education. I'm just so worried about him ... he just finished reading a book and we had him working on a book report ... nothing fancy ... just told him to get the basics down and we'll work on the mechanics later. He did just that. The beginning of his story starts out "It was for days now I bin reading how I got my Shrkin head." Later he wrote One day Mark herd the door bell ring he ran down stairs and open the door and he seen a shukn head he siad it look ugly he siad that his ant benna send it to him his ant benna told him to come to his junggel so him and her can epor the junggel." He's actually good at writing down

s but he has absolutely no mechanical skills when it comes to English. The basics really have eluded him. I had him begin in the 1-3 grades Phonics book and it covers the sounds like all the letters and combinations that make the A sound or the I sound, etc. He completes the lessons but within a matter of minutes he has forgotten all about what he learned. I do have him scheduled for developmental delay testing to see if he has any learning disabilities. I struggled with him on the ie, ei differences and he has no

about the different meanings of to, too and two ... he was

ed when I reviewed those with him ... "they all mean are said the same but mean different things?? UGH ... what on earth happened to him early on in school????

Thanks for your suggestion Marilyn ... that is definitely something I will do.

08-05-2004, 07:42 AM

Oh that breaks my heart! That poor kids will have a tough time ahead of him. I do think that if you keep working with him he will improve. Just try not to let him get fustrated. I will

for him.
How is he emotionally???

Kricket · 08-05-2004, 07:52 AM

Mechele, bless your heart for

ing this boy. He's very lucky to have been Welcomed into your family.

I'm not sure myself of what advice to give you. Have you talked to the Gui

councilor at his school about getting him some extra

? Surely they have a program for kids that are behind.

I think working with him after school a little bit every night would definately

.

I remember you saying you were trying to teach him how to be more responsible with his meds....how has he been doing with that?

I hope you can get some

with him.

Bellingsworth · 08-05-2004, 10:57 PM

Has he been tested for a learning disability? He may need to be put into Special Education classes. I didn't know it was illegal to hold back a child that was held back already. That is redicuilous!! If the child is struggling on a first grade level he definitly shouldn't be going to 5th!!

Have you tried games on the computer that have those things? Phonics games and such. I know Shawn seems to pick up alot from the educational games I get him. Also since he is on such a low level you may try getting him a Leap Pad. I think they go to 5th grade actually. Alot of times kids learn easier and faster when it is fun.

08-06-2004, 07:52 AM

Oh yahh.. I forgot about games.
I know that Leap Frog has some WONDERFUL toys that are very good. The leap pad and stuff. It is well worth the $$$. Maybe you could get some of that kind of stuff and he might even have fun while learning.

tiffysmom · 08-06-2004, 04:44 PM

The only suggestion I have is to have him tested for speech . He might have problems with anunciation. My daughter is having speech therapy and she is still struggling with annunciation and that makes her spelling horrible and some of the phonetics she is without a clue. I hope this

s.

GraspingGrace · 08-06-2004, 06:18 PM

Marilyn ... actually, considering what he's been through ... he's pretty well-adjusted emotionally!! There are some issues with lying (but heck, I have that with my own kid LOL) but for the most part ... he's great in the emotional area. You're right about not allowing him to become frustrated ... that's tough for me too LOL ... I'm not the most patient person by any means!!! Thanks for saying that though ... that

s me to keep that in the forefront of my mind!!! I'm always in need of reminders like that

Krissy ... on the meds side ... I have left that up to him completely (all he's using nebutol for asthma) ... I told him it's up to him to listen to his body. I cannot tell him when his chest is tightening or when he's having trouble breathing ... he must listen to his body!!! (Although, I do listen to him when he's outside and when he comes in and I keep a watch on his face ... he has dark skin and he tends to pale a bit when his begins to wheeze -- if I see that I will make a comment and he will say "Oh ... yeah, I guess I could get it" LOL). We tried out Ritalin XR for the attention and for the noise making and inability to remain seated but there was hardly a change so I removed him from that. It looks like it's either a development situation or he will just be a discipline case. We shall see. He is in the "works" for a comprehensive evaluation ... hopefully that will happen in the next month or so. I'll keep ya posted. He has now been transferred to the same school our son attends so that will

since I know so many of the teachers there and I have a good relationship with the principal. I will be working closely with his new teacher and I will also check into the school assistance available. Thanks for reminding me of that

Bellingsworth -- actually, the school I just transferred him did an evaluation and said he was not special ed but did put him into ESL (English as a second language) which is ridiculous. Yes, Spanish was spoken in his home but he can't read or write the language and he knows very few words and absolutely no conversation ability with it so -- it is just that someone mentioned they are Puerto Rican and parents born there so he was stuck into ESL!!!! Stupid!!!!! He will be having a comprehensive developmental evaluation hopefully within the next month or so!!! I wasn't aware of that stupid law about only failing once per level (meaning elementary level, middle level and high level) ... I think parents can hold them back if they so choose but the school system cannot. I do not have the legal authority to hold him back at this point ... my leap pad isn't working anymore :( our first foster kids broke it. However, I do have a few programs ... but they are higher levels ... I'll keep my eyes open for younger Jump Start programs ... that's a good

... thanks

Marilyn ... I had a leap pad ... our first foster kids broke it. With hubby no longer working I can't afford to get that ... once he's working again I'll get a new one.

Ya know Tiffysmom ... that's something I've been telling him. His pronounciation is atrocious and I've noticed that he does spell the way he speaks. I have made a conscious effort to retrain his speech ... he hates it but oh well LOL. I'm not sure his hearing is 100% ... I've talked to people about his pronounciation and they all say it's a dialectical problem (like Ebonics) and that I should correct him myself -- UGH ... like I'm superwoman LOL ... I am trying hard though ... I just need God to grant me more patience ... ALOT more patience LOL.

You ladies are wonderful and I

so much for taking the time to pass on your

s!!!! You all have

ed me in some way or another ... HUGS to all of you!!!!!!

08-06-2004, 09:16 PM

I wish the Leap Frog toys were not so expensive.

Bellingsworth · 08-06-2004, 10:01 PM

I hope you are able to get him one soon. Maybe you can find one in a second hand store or something. If Shawn didn't use his soo much I would send it to you but it has

ed him alot. He has the little one and the regular one. i got him the little one for his birthday and then saw how much it

ed him and got hi the big one. I think the little one only has REALLY young programs though.

brightspot · 08-10-2004, 11:04 AM

Can you check his past health history? My daughter had an ear infection for 1 1/2 years. The specialist kept saying that she would outgrow it and refused to put tubes in her ears. I actually overheard my pediatrician yelling at him over the phone about it. Anyway, because of this she stopped hearing for a while. When she started school we had the same kind of problem. They said that what had happend is that her brain forgot how to hear certain sounds. Because of this she struggled greatly to learn to read or spell because she couldn't hear the sounds. We ended up doing speech therapy with her first to teach her the sounds. It took about 3 years of constant correction and having her repeat everything she said wrong over until she said it right before she started reading well. She is going into 5th grade now and although it is not her favorite thing she is reading very well now. My son also has ADHD. We used poker chips. For every 15 minutes he could stay on task he would get a white poker chip. He could turn 5 white in for blue and 5 blue ones in for privileges that we agreed on, like staying up 1/2 hour later, or choosing the video we watched (no matter how boring we watched it). It made a big difference after about six months. He is in high school now and does his work on his own. I don't have to nag anymore. The only time it gets bad now is if he is really stressed out like when we were going to move to a new state. It does take a lot of time and effort, but it is definately worth it. I hope this

s you somewhat. It is hard when you see a problem and are

less to do anything about it. You may just have to wait. As he feels more comfortable with you it may get better.

Bit · 08-10-2004, 01:53 PM

Just wanted to offer a hug and a great grammar website for beginners.

Grammar Gorillas
http://www.funbrain.com/grammar/

HSGretch · 08-11-2004, 09:02 AM

Using the Hooked On Phonics program for Jessica made a huge difference. I had her hearing tested, her speech tested and then realized she just learns differently. Unable to sit still for long periods of time, the HOP

ed, because it has a beat to it and her feet could move to it, or she could move around to it while learning. I got a copy at our local library so did not have to purchase it. Her first grade teacher sent home a note praising how well she read and when we sat down to read, she didn't know any of the sounds. She had memorized the "Word Wall" words! That's when we started homeschooling her!
Blessings in your very worthy pursuit!

GraspingGrace · 08-11-2004, 10:18 PM

Marilyn & Betsy -- Yes, Leap Frog is expensive and I agree it's well worth it. Normally I would just purchase it and not think twice about the fact that I wouldn't get reimbursed but my husband just lost his job so the money is really tight. When one of us gets a job you can bet I will buy another one

Brightspot ... thanks for your input. I have tried to get information on his background ... it's a VERY sticky situation with foster children. His previous schools have tested his hearing and they all say it's ok. I received a call from the unit that will be conducting his comprehensive study. I have three separate appointments set up for the initial evaluation to address our concerns, get a full physical done on him, a neurological study and then a developmental study. When I told him about it today ... he snapped at me and said "I've already had that done!!" I asked when and he him hawed around and then finally said "When I was with my mom." I reminded him that was a LONG time ago and that I have no access to that information so that study isn't going to

him now and all that matters to me is that we see once and for all what is going on (if it's something other than just a behavorial situation) and then we can work to correct the problem. I reminded him that my ultimate goal is for him to do well in school which will certainly make school much less of a chore for him. He smiled and said OK. I am not certain he has any hearing difficulty but you can bet it's going to be checked. I think his speech is strictly because his mother and grandmother didn't speak English often and when they did it was poor English and then he wasn't at school very much for the first three years so he started off poorly. We shall see what they say. I absolutely

r poker chips

!! I'm telling my husband about that right now ... it might be something we try with Josh. I'm thrilled to hear your kids are doing so well!!! You and your kids have done well ...

so much for passing along your suggestions!!! I truly appreciate it.

Thanks Bit ... I've bookmarked it and will be checking it out tomorrow!! He loves going online

Hey Gretch ... long time since we've talked!!! Great to see you. I've heard alot of good things about HOP but the price has always been out of our reach -- I'll have to check our library and see if they have it there. That's an option I never thought of -- shame on me!!! I should know to check it out.

Please keep those

s coming ladies ... they are all wonderful

s and I'll be looking into all of them!!! I don't know what I'd do without my Momzone geniuses!!!!