About 3 weeks ago, my 14 year old son was arrested for shoplifting at WalMart. The amount of merchandise was about $50 and it was his first offense. We will meet with Juvenile Justice this week. I have already been told that what will happen is that I have to pay $65 for a set of 4 audiotapes which he has to listen to and then answer questions. This question book is then submitted to the company who evaluates it and then sends the results to Juvenile Justice. The case is then closed.
I want this whole event to make an impression on him. JJ says that have had great results with this process, but I feel it is pretty lame. So, Bill is going to arrange for Matt to clean cages at the Animal Shelter for at least 3 Saturdays, as a community service project.
Is this being too harsh? I want the consequences to match the crime, but I feel that JJ is too wimpy. Not that I want my son to in the Detention Center, I just think he needs to learn a real lesson.
I dont know your son but I think that that is wonderful. What does the juvinal people think that watching a vidio and takeng a test would solve all problomes. I think you are doing a right thing. You know some people only do things once and like you said it is his first affence you want to leave a lasting impreshion
I think your version of justice should be a little harsher. You may want to ground him. This is a big offense and he's just, what 14?, you don't want this happening again or getting worse. You can't depend on a government agency to make sure your son is rehabilitated. You must take this into your own hands AFTER he has listened to those tapes and answered that questionaire.
He should have some serious restrictions placed upon him to shape him up.
I hope I don't come off too harsh. This is just my honest opinion.
I too think you should be harsher to make an impression
I have a brother who besides being an ex detective is a current juvie parole officer and has worked with juvies for years. He'll be the first to tell you the system is no where harsh enough on kids.
Have you brought him back to Walmart to apologize? And had you made him pay to Walmart the money that the items are valued at. I too would ground him and maybe too write a letter to Walmart and make up a contract with you. Decide what his punishment would be if he does this ever again and have it be something so big that he will be stiff.
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Oh trust me, cleaning the cages is not his only punishment. First, he lost his TV/video games/movies for 2 months. He has already written a letter of apology to WalMart. He also has forfeited allowance for October, and will now forfeit it for November to " pay for the course". His chores have increased at home and he was not allowed to go to the Homecoming this past Saturday.
The Juvenile officer also told me that WalMart could sue me for up to $500, but that it is pretty random. So, depending on what happens with that, Matt may lose allowance even longer.
Oh my. I think you've done quite well coleslau. I'm thrilled to see a parent taking charge of the situation. Too many times I see parents arguing with officials when their child has been caught red-handed claiming the punishment doesn't fit the crime, when in fact the punishment isn't hard enough. If this were my son I would be even harsher (just because (as my son would say) I am the biggest meanie ever), especially having it be his first offense. I would want it very hard so that his first offense is his last offense. I know we must face facts that many kids (as well as adults) break the law just for the thrill of it, or to see if they can get away with it or even because their so-called put them up to it and they feel they MUST do it but I always draw from my own experiences as a kid - I didn't do that so my kid better not do that either LOL. There's no negotiation.
I think you've done a great job coleslau, I hope Wal-Mart doesn't sue because they should see that you are taking his punishment beyond what the law punishes him. I wish you the best.
I think it is great to see a parent , holding thier child to thier accountability... Maybe he'll think twice, before the next time he does somthing stupid..
I also agree with everything Dorie said. The accountability is so important. So many children today just expect life to just let them slide for the unacceptable things they do. The parents just "pay the price" and the kids never learn responsibility for their actions. I don't believe you are being harsh at all. I believe you are being just and realistic. Stay strong.
I don't think it's too harsh at all. Some parents don't even care what their kids do and they end up in jail.
Children need to know they will pay for their actions.
Thank you all for your support. We met this past Tuesday with JJ. We asked them if we could request community service and they agreed. They added 20 hours of community service to the paper the judge will sign. That way, he HAS to do it.
MomZone, you asked how he took it. He took it quite well and understood why we were doing it. No argument, especially when the Intake Officer told him that by the judge signing it, it would be ABSOLUTELY necessary. Matt will have to get a paper from the Shelter to confirm that he completed his hours. He has until January 28 to do this.
I have sent off the check for the course. It should arrive any day. I'm going to listen to the tapes with him, and discuss them as we go.
I truly don't think he will ever do this again. He gets nervous whenever we go back into WalMart. He has to stay right with one of us, which I admit is a pain, especially if he has to go to the toilet, but so be it. He understands why and really prefers not to go to WalMart, but we make him at times just to show what it means to be restricted.
I think all you've done is great, I especially like the shelter , all of our shelters need as much as they can get, who knows, maybe he'll end up enjoying being around the animals, and want to out on his own once in a while!
stiff.
pay for the course". His chores have increased at home and he was not allowed to go to the Homecoming 
this past Saturday.
put them up to it and they feel they MUST do it but I always draw from my own experiences as a kid - I didn't do that so my kid better not do that either LOL. There's no negotiation.
with you or did understand how serious it is what he did?
I think all you've done is great, I especially like the shelter 
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