My son lost his temper today and told his sister that he hates her. It is making me . I don't know exactly how to handle it. I made him go outside and throw a whole handful of wood shavings into the air. Then I told him to pick up every single little piece he threw. Of course, he could not and he said it was impossible. I told him, of course it is impossible and it is also impossible to take back words once they leave your mouth.
I am very sad about all of this. The fruitcake is clueless!
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To know, firsthand, that nothing good ever comes of a cowardly act is to find the courage to say --- and to do --- what needs to be done in the moment, in spite of one's imagined fears about the outcome. ---Guy Finley
As hard as it is to hear this sort of thing come out of your son's mouth to his sister, you need to NOT take it personally. It is normal sibling stuff and the best thing that you can do is try to stay out of it because it is between them.
My boys, who are 15 mos apart in age, used to say mean things like this to each other all of the time. They are now 24 and 25, and on the whole, pretty good .
If you must do something about it, try to find out what caused him say that to his sister. It is okay to have any feeling - even negative ones - but, try to find out what made him feel he had to hurt her with his words? Was it stress, frustration, had she something that you are unaware of that him? Does he even realize that his words hurt his sister? Ask how he would feel if someone said those words to him. If you have to get involved, try to get to the root of the behavior and not just judge the action.
I agree with Ladyre, My 9 and 5 year old go through their anger fits too... They say "I hate you during ments, or I'm gonna punch you." They always storm away to their rooms with each other, and then back playing within the next half hour like nothings happened! This happens when their stubborness kicks in... Everytime I tried to involve myself in it, they wound up being mad at me too..... SIBLING STUFF I SAY........ Way to !!! Now I only get involved by saying thats not nice, or shake hands and make up..... If there's hitting involved I use the good ol TIME OUT.... Outside the house when push comes to shove, they always have each others backs... Go figure?
Last edited by MommysLooneyBin : 04-14-2007 at 09:54 AM.
You guys are so smart! Thank you for the excellent advice. I was really freaking out over this one. I HATE the word HATE. UGH. I appreciate your support!
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To know, firsthand, that nothing good ever comes of a cowardly act is to find the courage to say --- and to do --- what needs to be done in the moment, in spite of one's imagined fears about the outcome. ---Guy Finley
I was just going through the archives and ran across this thread. I agree with all the advice but I alos think that lesson you gave your son was a great one Lulu. I am sure that it will stick in his mind as the years go by. It will probably one of his favorite stories to tell when he is older and talking about his childhood. And I totally understand how you feel. My girls are 20 and 15 and still have their moments. Since the 20 year old still lives at home while going to college it makes it harder for them to get to the more mature relationship I am hoping they will someday have, . But then they turn around and act like best buds. Go figure!!
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A Peanut Sat On A Railroad Track, His Heart Was All Aflutter, Along Came A Choo-Choo Train, And Now He's
PEANUT BUTTER!!
Too true Polly....... My 6 year old told my 10 year old that he was going to put him on a spinning wheel and pop him like a balloon durig an argument... Crazy ....... If push comes to shove, I don't have to worry. Outside they are very protective of each other... Crazy boys!
~~~ I have no clue what goes through their minds... It's like they will see something and bring it to a different level... Mostly from cartoons for my 6 year old... He's a real sci-fi freak Jimmy Nutron creations are his thing... Star Wars too... My 10 year old is mostly the outdoorsy one making traps, and different fishing rigs.... Silly Boys!!!
. I don't know exactly how to handle it. I made him go outside and throw a whole handful of wood shavings into the air. Then I told him to pick up every single little piece he threw. Of course, he could not and he said it was impossible. I told him, of course it is impossible and it is also impossible to take back words once they leave your mouth.
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him? Does he even realize that his words hurt his sister? Ask how he would feel if someone said those words to him. If you have to get involved, try to get to the root of the behavior and not just judge the action. 
Hey LuLu
ments, or I'm gonna punch you." They always storm away to their rooms 
with each other, and then back playing within the next half hour like nothings happened! This happens when their stubborness kicks in... Everytime I tried to involve myself in it, they wound up being mad at me too..... SIBLING STUFF I SAY........ Way to 
Outside the house when push comes to shove, they always have each others backs... Go figure?
Hello.......
. But then they turn around and act like best buds. Go figure!!
Hello...
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