Please Please Help!!!

mommyto2 · 07-16-2004, 08:24 AM

my daughter is 10 1/2. She is driving me

. I don't know if she is pre-menstrual hormonal or what but I feel like all I do is fuss, at her, these days.
She has been diagnosed ADHD BUT all the medicines make her lose sooo much weight and feel bad. When we took her off all meds, she gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks. She looks and feels so much better. Even on the medicine, she had tons of probs. Her grades improved OFF the medicine! Go figure. Anyway, her attitude and her mouth is what is making me so

. She smarts off about everything and doesn't appreciate ANYTHING!. Her room is a constant disaster and her clothes are thrown everywhere. I can't hardly get her to brush her teeth or wash herself, during

-time. Sometimes, it's just soo

.
I am at my wits end. She is total competition with my son, who is only 4. She resorts to acting like she's 2....then, she wants to act like she's grown-up. Is this a tween thing or am I experiencing more??????

angelkatey · 07-16-2004, 08:28 AM

I'm

ing, i wish i could give you some advice

huggles,

Minxy

mommyto2 · 07-16-2004, 11:42 PM

thanks for the

ers!

Kricket · 07-17-2004, 05:15 AM

What have her doctors said? Sounds like maybe she needs some kind of adjustment on her meds. She could also be going through some puberty...it seems to get earlier and earlier in kids these days.

I know there are a few moms who have kids with ADHD on here....graspinggrace comes to mind....you should pm her. She is wonderful at giving advice and support.

I hope things improve with your daughter...I'm

you have to go through this.

Keep us up to date on how she is doing! And keep on

ing for her!

mommyto2 · 07-17-2004, 08:38 AM

The doctors don't say too much. She's not currently on any medication. I took her off all of it..although, I am considering trying, again. Honestly, while she was on meds, she looked

! She was so thin, complained of stomach-aches,

s and being sleey, all the time. It wasn't worth putting her through all that with no more than the medicine was doing. We tried about everything except ritilin. She was on meds for 3 years.
I'm wondering about puberty, also. She is starting to develop breasts(nothing major although she is impressed!!

) She leaves for church camp on Monday and I'm hoping it will

her some. New

, bible study, time away from me. Plus the other trillion activities they have planned!
Thanks for the info on graspinggrace. I may contact her.

lulu · 07-17-2004, 10:21 AM

I have an 11 year old daughter. She is also ADHD and, like you, I have kept her off the medicine because the side effects were not worth the "

". I have found that at this stage in her life, what she craves the most is structure. I am very strict on discipline. I have found that the more I keep her informed of what is expected of her, the easier it is to get along. Currently, during the summer, I have given her a bedtime of 10:00 with the provision that it will be revoked IMMEDIATELY if she becomes grouchy or mean. She has kept her attitude together. I think it may be puberty as well. My daughter is also starting to "bud". It is an exciting and scary time. I am right there with you through it. My best advice is to give her structure. Good luck and don't forget, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

tesslon · 07-18-2004, 03:04 PM

I have a 9 year old son that is borderline ADHD. He was especially having difficulty with staying on task at school. We had tried Concerta before, but he had many side effects (anger, hair pulling, tics), and it wasn't

ing him as we had hoped. He was off meds for about 1 year, and then we started him on Strattera this year. He did beautifully in school for the remainder of the year. I noticed less effectiveness towards the end, and I'm sure the doctor would have just increased the dose.

The downside is that he definitely had anger issues (towards me) while on the meds. He also lost a lot of weight. He's 9 years old and only weighed 50 pounds during this school year. He was never hungry and wouldn't eat unless I made him sit down with me and I coaxed him to eat every bite. I took him off meds for the summer to see how he did because he begged me to stop them. Since being off the meds, he's gained 8 pounds and eats like a horse. Even though the school issues are very stressful when they're not doing the homework, the health side effects are equally stressful. I'm not sure what we're going to do once September comes. He is also smarting off a lot and talking back to me. BUT, I will say that every mom I've talked to has said her kids are doing exactly the same thing, and they do not have ADHD.

It may be that a lot of the issues are hormonal and the age that she is. I think structure and setting rules are a very important part of developing the respect that many children are lacking these days. Society has become more lax with kids overall, and I think it shows.

I wish you the best of luck. I understand what you're going through and know how frustrating it is. I find myself in tears frequently, wondering what I can do to make it better for him and for me. Keep us posted!

momofbpi · 07-18-2004, 05:56 PM

Hello

Well the ADHD I understand two boys with it and since I have triplets im glad my daughter doesnt have it too. Its hard with the medications they all have side effects. Concerta was the only one that worked well for us for a long time we are trying the stratera now and Im starting to see some improvement but this week I will be playing school with them to see exactly how much they can focus and concentrate and see if its really working or not. My kids have bad tempers too but since im irish and other things and my husband is italian and other things they have super bad tempers. Its hard with them sometimes. I wish you luck Im glad these three are not at that age yet.

mommyto2 · 07-21-2004, 09:15 PM

HI!!! Sorry about the delayed response...I've been running

!!! Thanks so much for all the advice and sharing your stories, with me, also. I see and hear lots, about STRUCTURE!!! I'm gonna have to work on that. My doctor says I'm ADHD also and I'm terrible with structure and organization. I have already decided to set my foot down, with myself, and get STRUCTURE going on, in our house!!!

I don't take medication either and haven't had testing. My doctor says just from talking to me and treating our family over the years, he can plainly see where she gets the ADHD!

Anyway, Morgan is still at camp.(since Monday)We pick her up Friday evening and I can't wait! She may

me

but I miss her something fierce! Once again, thanks for

ing. I appreciate any and all advice.
I'm going to do my best to continue to keep her off medicine. I just don't like how she feels, when she's on it. She goes back to school August 12th and we've got a new system to try so hopefully it will

her and me--seperately and together.

Victorious · 07-21-2004, 09:50 PM

First of all... HUGZ to you!

My daughter is not ADD/ADHD (although a lot of times acts like it). She can be down right HORRIBLE! I believe it is hormonal... She

s me nuts! Attitude big time! We will get through this!

If you feel good about your daughter being off the meds then leave her off of them. Even children with ADD/ADHD have to taught that they are responsible for their actions... (my son is ADD not of meds) He liked the meds because he felt that they did

him but he has trained himself to be responsible for he's actions without the meds because we held him acountable) Now this does NOT mean that he doesn't

me CRAZY and he still talks back but I think it's an age thing.

Polly · 07-22-2004, 09:58 PM

My dd turned 12 in May and I had the same problems while she was 11 but recently I see a change. Our battles are fewer between. So I see some hope there , of course I'm waiting for the next "phase" to hit,

. I have to say the only

is constant structure and trust me it will be constant. About a million times a day but if you dont do it she will not really know what is expected and may increase her

times. I wish you the best of luck. It is not easy. I went through the same thing at the same age with my oldest dd, so hopefully it is just a phase. I do think some hormones kick in too. Good luck.

mommyto2 · 07-23-2004, 10:41 AM

to everyone!!!

I've been doing alot of thinking and

ing, about all this. DD comes home tonight. I believe after a day of rest, it's time for she and I to have a girl to girl talk and discuss some new rules and consequences. I know it's gonna be difficult but it's time to DO something. Once again, thanks for all your input! It's really given me some new outlooks on things. I told hubby that

and she is the princess and we've got to find a way to co-exist peacefully! He says he's willing to

however possible....hmmmm........