When to have THE talk

10-28-2003, 09:47 PM

My son is 9 and I have heard him outside talking to his

and its usually them talking to him and that is what scares me. Is he too young for me to have the talk with him or is it better for me to do it now before he gets wrong info?

10-29-2003, 10:45 AM

Hey Kristen!

My son is 7, soon to turn 8. His

have started to talk about that stuff (they have no clue what they are talking about - just picking stuff up from TV and blurting it out), so we decided to have the talk with last week. I thought it was going to be more awkward than it was, but it went really well.

We stressed he is not to talk to his

about his new found knowledge, that there is nothing wrong with sex - just that their parents should be the ones to tell them.

I thought it better for him to hear the correct info from us, than to keep hearing the wrong info from others. I think they have more of an interest in it, when they think it is taboo or wrong to talk about...

It really depends on the child though...

Hugs,
Elena

10-30-2003, 06:47 AM

I don't really go by the age of my child when it comes to the talk or any discussion. If they can ask the question, then I think they deserve an answer. I will not however, tell them anything too personal about myself, they don't need to know what daddy and I do together, thats none of their business (so far none has asked) and depending on how old my child is (I have a soon to be 15 year old boy, 13 year old boy, 11 year old girl and a 5 year old boy) depends on how much I will go into detail.

I probably wouldn't explain too much about how babies are made to my 5 year old if he asks, but with my 15 year old I would explain it all, in fact we have already had some pretty interesting discussions. I generally try to turn the conversation from sex to respecting yourself and the person your with, that sex is not JUST sex, you should always respect each other. I really try to push that with my daughter, I hope that if she has enough respect for herself she won't allow some boy to take advantage of her.

WAHMof2 · 11-01-2003, 12:51 PM

Hi Kristen. My oldest son is 9 also. I think it's up to the parents to use their judgement. Kids learn so many things at an young age it's scary!! My 9 year old is pretty mature for his age and is always filled with questions. We try to be as honest as possible with him.
Now, my 6 yr old is hearing awful things at school! I hear him talking with his brother about a sexy girl! I asked him if he knew what that meant, he said no. Then I told him it was inappropriate to talk like that and just becuase he hears other kids saying it doesn't make it right.

DeeDee · 11-01-2003, 11:40 PM

When my boys were small and asked questions, we tried to tell them what they wanted to know in a way that wasnt' giving them too much detail but enough to satisfy their question.

We never really refused to answer any questions. You just have to find a way to answer without telling too much detail. They are usually happy with an answer you give them and they go on their way. I always said its better for them to find out at home than from a stranger. We never told lies to our kids.

Nowadays, kids find out things a lot younger than we used to. It is the way society is now, I think. There isn't too much that is kept hidden anymore, especially on television.

DeeDee

Kathleen · 11-10-2003, 08:24 AM

What we did was when our oldest turned 9 we told her if she had any questions about anything she could ask us. Her reply was "even about sex?" and we said yes. SHe got the basics and was happy and does ask more questions oc***ionaly . We told our 8 year old daughter the same basic things since she is so into animals and nature shows (when she can see t.v or movies/dvd's we borrow) We took Her to Space Farms once and it seemed like it was big cat mating day so she knows the basics of animals and asked if people do something similar.
Go by what you think they would feel comfortable with ... Give them the option of knowing they can ask anything as long as it is an appropiate time.

11-11-2003, 08:40 PM

Oh ladies, I am not really looking forward to this. My girls are 7 1/2 and I am sure the questions will be coming soon. We will do our best to be open and very straightforward. We plan to give them enough info to satisfy their curiosity without going into major details.